Being Honest with Ourselves

Warren Buffett once said that the problem with fooling others is that you might start fooling yourself. It is probably more difficult to be honest with ourselves because we rationalize behaviors that we don't want to change.

I came across a story on shemayisrael.com that properly illustrates this issue. A rabbi saw a former student of his and was surprised by his lack of observant living. He asked him why he was no longer observant. The former student replied that he had found too many doubts.

The rabbi asked the former student, "if I can answer all of your questions, would you then return to being observant?" The student said, "Absolutely, but I doubt that you will be able to since my questions are very strong."

The rabbi guaranteed him answers, but first needed an answer himself. He asked, "When did these questions develop in your mind? Before you stopped being observant or after?

The young man thought for a moment and then replied, "To be honest, Rabbi, all of the questions came after I became non observant. But that is irrelevant. Now I am bothered by them and if you can answer them, I'll become observant once again."

The rabbi said that he was sorry but he could not help him. The student was shocked and asked why he couldn't. The rabbi explained. "I do have the answers. But they are answers for questions. You don't have questions. You have answers. For answers I have no answers.

You stopped putting on tefillin because you were too lazy to get up early in the morning. You ate non kosher because you are a glutton. You stopped keeping Shabbos because you don't want to be restricted. But you once learned in yeshiva; so your conscience bothered you and you found that you still were not enjoying life. Therefore, you had to come up with answers to relieve yourself of those terrible, guilty feelings. These answers are what you call 'questions'. But they are not real and so I cannot disperse them intellectually. As long as you are not honest with yourself, you will never accept the truth, keeping your brain from working properly."